would a stronger woman have been able to hide the overwhelming urge to run until after the funeral of his birth father?.
Would the atronger woman have allowed a closeness to develop until after the distant relatives had met up in a crematorium to lay to rest a stranger,who chose to live his life a recluse?.
Am i an absolute coward that i could not carry on being a friend but carry the horrible rucksack of expectation and pressure.

I hated carrying a weight of uncertainty to a place of nowhere.

It was not helping either of us. i love him but no part of me can imagine living with him. if that is true which sadly it is why should i waste our time?.

But would a stronger woman have been able to be more than me?.

Did i let him down.

I did not mean to but i had to run.

I just got so claustrophobic.

I panicked.

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