My ex met me on Thursday night. I think I have got used to be kept waiting. It was unexpected when he walked into my work at 8pm at the time we had agreed. At the time he walked in I was still at my desk.
My natural reaction when I saw him was to kiss him, but then I had all those teenage type uncertainties of what was right or wrong. My head was telling me we had both agreed to meet as friends, there were and are real reasons why we had called time on our relationship. The real reasons are not based on the everyday getting along and finding each other attractive, moreover bigger issues on what our expectations are in the longer term….and even the shorter term.
As time goes by I know deep down that I do not want anymore children. My time has to be spent buiding my business. One thing my divorce taught me is that financial security gives you freedom, I spent 10 years supporting my ex husband on his career path at the huge expense of my own earning ability and career progression. This means that inthe shorter term, I do need to put the hours in. In the longer term I will have a successful business.
As my ex said to me when he was with me, my business comes first and he comes second.
He needs to find a woman who is at a life stage where she can and will put him first, pop out some sproglets….

When that happens for him I will be so happy for him….but yes it will hurt.
It would hurt more to think I was in a relationship with him and was not able or ready to offer him what he wants and needs.
I know I can’t, but hell, I still want to kiss him

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